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Dec. 10th, 2009

  • 12:34 PM
Magda
I hate this paranoia looking for motives behind everything. the sad thing is my instincts have yet to fail me and my instincts keep yelling warning danger ahead. I hate seeing my friends in pain and I hate injustice. I feel my hands are tied and I'm not sure whom I can turn to for help. we are leaning against each other but I fear we are unable to stop the storm on the horizon... god I hope I am wrong

I'm in an odd headspace today...

silent heraldry class- Dec 16th

  • Dec. 7th, 2009 at 11:57 PM
Magda
Here is your chance to get in on the ground floor of an exciting new opportunity
to serve in the SCA. With Battlemoore fast approaching a new office is being
formed under the palmer herald white stag herald, an office with the purpose to make SCA events
more assessable to the Deaf and hard of hearing. Silent Heralds are just like
regular voice heralds only the use American Sign Language!

Not a certified interpreter? Not a problem you do not need to be one to step in
and help, you do not even need to be fluent

Always wanted to learn a new language or give American sign language a try? Now
is your chance

Curious about the Deaf culture and want to know more? this is the perfect
opportunity for you

Have questions you have been afraid to ask about the Deaf or hard of hearing?
This is your chance to ask them!

This is the first of many classes that you will be seeing in the near future.
this class will cover your questions, etiquette, Deaf culture, SCA signs and
some basic signs to get you started.

When: Weds. Dec. 16th starting at 7pm
Where: Wondering Dragon inn- 17910 E Dickenson Place, Aurora, CO 80013
Who: Why anyone who is interested and would like to know more! Taught be me,
Magda- your local Deaf
Why: To get the ball rolling with this new kingdom office- Silent heralds

If you have any questions or would like more information feel free to contact me
at anorathepain @ aol . com

YIS
Magda

"None so deaf as those that will not hear" Matthew Henry
"Deaf people can do anything but hear." - I King Jordan


***************************************************
addendum- This office is hoped to be under the white stag herald directly- not palmer I am so thrilled our white stag is pushing this forward and the credit for creating this office is all hers.. i misspoke mea culpa

comments from my last post

  • Dec. 4th, 2009 at 2:25 AM
Magda
sorry for being so cryptic in my comments in my last post- shorly after posting my happy post about the canton meeting I was made aware of an email sent to the canton list in response to Wilhams email. This email was not kind and it said some hurtful things esp. about me. I am in shock that just as there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it looks like all the parties involved in the orginal "signing incident" will be following the kingdom recomendations- She wrote an inappropriate email that was posted for all to see on the readstan list. I guess she has no intention of making this positive nor is she willing to learn or grow---

That's fine she can make her choice and I have made mine- I WILL make something good come out of this I will fight for the rights of EVERYONE to be able to participate in the dream.

An awesome meeting

  • Dec. 4th, 2009 at 12:31 AM
Magda
I am still flying high about the canton meeting! I am so glad to see something so positive come from an ugly beginning but I am getting ahead of myself...

Before the canton meeting the seneschal of readstan put out an amazing email to their list.

************************
Greetings cousins,

Wilham here, writing as your Seneschal,

Our SCA and our little Canton, was founded on the ideal of a more courteous and
chivalrous society. One that took the best actions and virtues of the middle
ages and brought them forward into what we call the "current middle ages." The
best of the middle ages being partially defined as Courtesy and Chivalry. We
have included in our organizational documents statements that support this. At
the beginning of Appendix A in our Corpora it states. "The Society is devoted to
courtesy, trustworthiness and personal responsibility…" For me personally this
call to better behavior was paramount to my staying with the organization beyond
the initial attraction. Within our society some have come to refer to this
dream of a more courteous recreation as the "Dream". I like this and I think
most of you like this also. This is why some members sign missives with "in
service to the dream." At the heart of this dream is courtesy manifested in
both word and deed. We greet everyone who passes near us. We assist each other
and especially those with less physical ability than us with carrying burdens.
We sometimes speak with exaggerated courtesy referred to by some as "speaking
foresoothly". We protect those that need it. These are a few of the ways that
we manifest our Dream. I personally remember a friendship I had with a man in a
wheel chair. When I asked him what he needed he said, "Don't ignore me." I had
a paradigm shift and understood that I didn't acknowledge people in wheel
chairs. From then forward I made a point of acknowledging everyone in a wheel
chair or with any other disability. Thus I was very ready for the SCA to tell
me to "greet everyone who passes you."

Within our Barony an issue has arisen concerning how we as a populace and the
larger "we" as an organization treat or make accommodations for our members and
visitors with disabilities, handicaps, or special challenges. The pain that we
can cause differently abled people through avoidance, misunderstanding, or
insensitivity is great. We must not do this. We must manifest the Dream with
all. The specifics of this issue are not currently for general discussion as
they are yet unresolved. However we can discuss our understanding of the dream
within our Canton.

When we founded the Canton we had general understanding of the reasons we
founded it. Each member had their own priority but generally the reasons were:
1. Local practices and events.
2. Family focused.
3. Inclusive events.
4. Support of the Barony and Kingdom.
5. Setting the standard for group behavior, heraldry, and period recreation.

The way we did these was:
1. Local. Cornerstone Park has become our home for practice and events.
2. Family. All of our events, including council meetings, allow children and/or
have children's activities and have family caps in pricing for our events.
3. Inclusive. We try to include all of the major activities in the SCA: Heavy
Fighting, Light Fighting, Arts & Sciences, Archery, etc. Archery is our
failure here because it is restricted within our parks system.
4. Support. We tithe to both the Barony and the Kingdom. We support the Barony
events and officer positions.
5. The Standard. We have a beautiful fighting Eric and dragon wing Tent. We
encourage banners, and period play, and hosted for several years a Pas de Arms.

This is us in the past and I hope for the future.

However I see, with the aid of this new issue within the Barony, a void in our 5
points of understanding. We don't talk about the Dream and we don't talk about
support for those with disabilities.

Therefore, friends, I propose that we as a Canton discuss doing three things.

1. We codify the above 5 points of understanding.
2. We add our understanding and manifestation of the Dream.
3. We specifically state and then delineate with action steps support for those
that are disabled.

To this end within new business I will be asking for feedback on this issue.

My personal goal is to have a generally accepted path forward at the end of the
meeting. Then my goal is to have a final document of some type to be presented
to the populace at our annual big event, Mountain Mayhem, in May 2010.

All the best to each of you, and see you Wednesday.

Wilham de Juste
********************************

I love that he doesn't dwell on the incident and instead address all disabilities.

The meeting lead to a wonderful discussion about all disabilities and what we can do to make people feel welcomed. a lot of personal stories were shared and I think it really brought everyone together. we all left felling so wonderful. I am so glad wilham wanted to address this!!

rose awards

  • Dec. 2nd, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Magda
Hey gang the realm of venus is holding it's rose awards, I am one of the costumers up for consideration. I am the second costumer listed If you have a moment please check out the site and cast your vote- http://realmofvenus.renaissanceitaly.net/yourgarb/votingpage2009.htm

please feel free to share I hope to place this year!!!

thanks

Magdalena
Magda
1) Why did you decide on the persona you decided on in the SCA?
I started with an elizabethan persona because i loved the clothes and researched the tudors within an inch of their lives. Now i do an italian courtesan because i love the clothes and i wanted a persona who could be independant and educated there isn't too many options for a woman during our time period of study that fit that bill - courtesans do. i find them facinating and there is new ground being broken on them all the time

2) If you could change one thing about the SCA, no questions asked, no political repercussions, what would it be? (I like this question, so I'm stealing it!)
I would love to see more theater (esp. in courts) and a real push to see more persona play. Maybe it's the actor in me but I find our kingdom really lacks it.

3) What is the one thing you'd like people to know about being deaf (or do you identify as hearing impaired, I'm not clear on that, and wish not to offend)? No offence take, I label myself as Deaf since hearing impared implys that I am broken which I do not feel that I am. I wish folks could understand that I am not broken that I am not missing out on life and i am happy the way i am.

4) How did you get involved in speech tournaments? I did speech and debate in high school and 4 years ago a student at the dance studio where my mother and sister worked at was complaining about her coach and explaining that she was having a lot of trouble with her cutting. My mother suggested this student contact me after meeting up for coffee i discovered her "awful" coach was my coach from high school. I gave him a call to make fun of him and he offered me a job. it fits my schedule wonderfully and i really love what i do

5) What is your favorite type of music? I love musicals and classic rock. Classic rock has a wonderful beat i can feel and musicals use the music to tell the story

handout

  • Nov. 29th, 2009 at 6:47 PM
Magda
so I am working on a hand out to give to some folks with information about the Deaf I need a hearing persons view- what do you guys think a hearing person would be interested in learning about the deaf.....

qustion meme from holyschist

  • Nov. 27th, 2009 at 7:38 PM
Magda

1) How did you get interested in an Italian persona?
Shortly after joining the SCA i read an essay on italian courtesans. I loved that they we independant, stong-willed and educated. I knew i wanted to have a courtesan persona but everyone told me it was a taboo persona. I kept doing my research behind the guise of a mild mannered Elizabethan but secretly i wanted to dive into the courtesan persona I was building day by day. At Pennsic two years ago I was able to teach a courtesan class in persona at teh Casa Bardicci- I was hooked. I came home as Magdalena Lucia ramberti leaving Anora to fend for herself in the wilds. I have continued to teach with the hopes to one day change the belief that courtesans are somehow a bad persona- and I also help to correct those who have given the persona a bad name by using it as an excuse for bad behavior

2) What craft would you like to learn but haven't yet due to time/money/difficulty/other?
I would love to learn how to make peirced metal corronets. I just don't know where to start

3) Is there a particular period outfit (e.g. a portrait or extant garment) you would like to recreate faithfully?
Several....


4) What are you in school for?
BA in Social Science with a history emphisis and a Education Concentration so i can teach social studies/ history k-12


5) What is the last good book you read? Why did you like it?
i am devouring the The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris just finished "A Touch of Dead" they are like candy to me i can read them in a sitting or two, they are fun and have nothing to do with school work


want me to ask you 5 questions?? If you want questions from me, reply with "resistance is futile"

Nov. 24th, 2009

  • 9:13 PM
Magda
I have decided I am in the disappointed stage of this whole thing the recommendation is a step in the right direction but it doesn't go far enough nor does it address the hostile enviroment situation. I wanted something more- education that would reach out beyond our boarders i know now that such beliefs are not tied to our barony alone. there are things that need to be said and myths about the Deaf that need to be debunked. The thing i am most unhappy about is how much is thrown to our court to correct. I truly think this all boils down to a lack of education and the fact melle and I cope to well. i speak to well to have a hearing issue and I don't throw my disability around enough. when I first meet people i don't introduce myself as "hi, I'm Magda, and I am Deaf" there is a lot of shame built around this I have been dealing with feelings of being broken all my life my mother hardly wants to talk about it unless I am doing something that draws attention to the fact I can't hear. None of my family signs nor do they have an interest in learning.
if I spoke with the sterotypical "Deaf" voice would that change things? I see a speech therapist several times a month just to prevent my voice from going hollow. I have spent thousands of dollars on hearing aides just so I can function in the hearing world. I have always felt like an outsider, that I don't fit in, that I am not normal.
The only place I have felt compleatly myself is among the Deaf. Everone there understands the things that I have overcome and there is no pressure to pass as hearing. I love sign language, it is very difficut to lie and it is very straight forward.
Maybe i need to write something explaining where I came from and where I am now and some of the things I have struggled with.
I keep thinking of writing an article that can be published in the Outlands Herald and any of the baronial newsletters, would that raise awareness?? I use to teach a class on sign language during the SCA time period and on silent heraldry, but the issue is no one really attended- so this was not the best way to reach out. What do you think?? I could do my own PSA at the barony meeting but that only reaches the small number that attends... I just don't know I want to do something proactive, I need to do something positive but I am drawing a blank about what....

Nov. 24th, 2009

  • 5:57 PM
Magda
well now we know and i admit I was hoping for more. it's a good start but it doesn't deal with the hostile enviroment all the slander and rumor has created. There needs to be something done to address that. I'm just feeling stuck.... I need to think about this and try to figure what to do next

Nov. 23rd, 2009

  • 10:04 PM
Magda
Sadly my shift key is not working so forgive the capital letter issues

Last night melle and i shared our fears that we were not going to be told anything about the hearing issue now that it is out of our hands. To a Deaf person being out of the loop is a very nasty place to be. It's why when you are talking to a Deaf person thru an interpreter you talk to the Deaf person and should act as if the interpreter is not there. Othwerwise it is a huge insult. The fact we have heard nothing has made me feel even more so as a second claa human being. I feel as if people are talking about me right in front of my face but i just don't exist. It is a very stressful place to be.
i like to be proactive i knew i needed to DO something before I went insane, so i put in my hearing aide, pumped up the volume on my phone found a quiet room and started making phone calls. My first was to the person who interviewed us about this a week ago last Thurs. I asked what the status of everything and was told that his report was done and turned in to the kingdom seneschal and i would need to talk to him to see if he would release that info to me. So I made that next phone call again I got no real answers but I was told the Baroness and our local seneschal recieved there copies of the report and recomendation and that we did not recieve ours because our local senechal had not gotten back to him with our email addresses. He didn't tell me anything of the results just that I should recieve them sometime tomorrow afternoon. I passed him our addresses and now i wait.... again.
i just wish i had some idea of what will happen next- I pray they decided to do SOMETHING about this and not just drop it and sweep it under the rug. All I have wanted was a public service announcement to inform and educate and clear melle and I of suspesion when we sign I just want to be able to sign and not feel as if I am doing something wrong. i also admit that now that this grew out of control and I have knowledge of some of the hurtful things said against Melle and i, I want an apology although I know it wouldn't do any good and I doubt it would ever come and frankly if it did come it would be false.
This has been so painful for me, I always thought the SCA was home, I may not get along with everyone all the time but I felt like i belonged there. Now I just don't know all the terrible things i have been trying to overcome since we first discovered my hearing loss has resurfaced. I'm having nightmares again and I feel like I should feel shame where i once felt pride. I am hurt and i pray that some how I can find my way thru this and return to the security I once felt.
I pray that the recomendation is something I can live with because if it is not i know I have to lift a sword and fight for the little guy. I can't just let this go- i know I have the right to exist and i have the right to communicate and be a part of things and so do all others who have disabilities if they are seen or unseen we should all be treated with dignity and the right to exisit and if i will anger people for fighting for that right -so be it.

start of persona story.... basic outline

  • Nov. 19th, 2009 at 9:21 PM
Magda
inspired by [info]yzzy i hope to really expand on what is going on now that magda has found herself in the kingdom of the Outlands

Magdalena Lucia Ramberti was born Oct 16 1551 to Helena and Nicolo da Canal. The 3rd surviving child of 5 pregnancies. Her mother a retired courtesan saved her money to have a good dowry so she could marry a upper middle class gentleman who was rising among the doge's household. Her mother decided upon the Magdalena in honor of St. Mary Magdalen patron saint of fallen women. Her two older brothers Domenico and Luca grew up to serve the mother church. Domenico become an honored solider in the church's army and Luca became a priest and traveled to raise money for the church's coffer's.

At age twelve Magda's father left on a trade ship never to return, less then a year later her mother discovered he had done so to escape his gambling debts. With her sons gone Helena had to turn to the one trade she knew. She began teaching her daughter what it took to become a courtesan and Magda flourished at her lessons.

When Magda reached fifteen Helena caught a fever and passed away. Her mother's good friend Meliore took Magda in and finished her training. Meliore became like a mother to Magda introducing her to all the right people and reminding her to not fritter away her hard earned money. She also encouraged Magda to use the name of one of her clients instead of the common Da Canal so she could move in higher circles.

Time rolled on and Magda found herself following her best friend and mentor, Meliore, to Chateau Flammel a lovely estate near the southern end of the canton of Readstan, within the boundries of the Barony of caerthe. Within these new surroundings Magda discovered that a true honored courtesan was rare indeed.

Nov. 9th, 2009

  • 9:51 PM
Magda
class is over!!! and I am FREE! FREE! FREE.... well at least until Dec 15th but I am in major need of a break I just don't think I could handle a class on ethics and morals while the SCA thing is hanging over my head. Now I am off to a hot bath and a good book tomorrow I can write on my NaNoWriMo all day then sew all night!

My hearing and voice have been off and on all day I think the stress of everything and the added weight of this final paper being due just shut me down, it happens sometimes. I hope it doesn't last long

ask please

  • Nov. 5th, 2009 at 4:29 PM
Magda
Okay. I don't know how it seems to happen, but I appear to be one of a few people at the center of some controversy. I feel these become the case because of lack of communication and information. So, I am offering... ask my ANYTHING you want and I will tell you the truth. You can do it here or privately. Please, just ask.

cause I really need a laugh

  • Nov. 4th, 2009 at 10:48 PM
Magda


Alexander the Great and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

in the style of the children's story Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day; written for Honors English 11 last year

I left the battle with blood in my helmet and now there's blood in my hair and when I got out of my armor this afternoon I tripped on a dead solder and by mistake I dropped my sword in the catapult while the thing was launching and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

At dinner Aristotle found a fat juicy rabbit in the tall overgrown grass and Demetrius found a striking young buck in the tall overgrown grass but in my tall overgrown grass all I found was tall overgrown grass.

I think I'll move to Carthage.

In the march my bodyguard told Homer to have the left flank. Plato and Hephestus were told to take the right flank. I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed. I said if I don't get a place on a flank I am going to be homicidal. No one even saluted.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

In battle Athena liked the Egyptians' sacrifice of a lamb better than my sacrifice of the invisible cow. At praising time she said I praised too quietly. After I was done praying, she said I left out Zeus. Who needs Zeus? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

I could tell because Prometheus said I wasn't his best battle partner anymore. He said that Philip was his best battle partner and Hector was his next best battle partner and that I was only his third best battle partner.

I hope you sit on a pike, I said to Prometheus. I hope next time you attack a fun-and-easily-killable blind old man your head part falls off your neck part and lands in Carthage.

There were two biscuits in Philip's lunch bag and Perseus got cooked meat with spices and Prometheus's cook gave him a lamb's leg that had been broiled to perfection. Guess whose cook forgot to cook the meat?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

That's what it was, because after battle my bodyguards took me to the armorer and Corba found a small hole just in mine. Come back next week and I'll fix it, said Corba.

Next week, I said, I'm going to Carthage.

On the way through the forest the thick brush snapped in my face and while we were waiting for scouts to go get the report, Aristotle made me fall where it was muddy and when I started to swear because of the mud Demetrius said I was a Bronze-ager and while I was beating Demetrius for saying Bronze-ager the scouts came back with the report and laughed at me for being muddy and fighting.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, I told everybody. No one even saluted.

So then we went to a village to steal some women. Aristotle chose a white one with brown hair, Demetrius chose a sunburned one with blond hair. I wanted a freckled one with red hair, but we couldn't find one. There were none in the village. They made me take a plain old hag with green hair, but they can't make me um...well.. you know..

When we picked up a general at his tent he said I couldn't play with his longbow and arrows, but I forgot. He said to watch out for the maps on his desk, but I was careful as could be except for my sword hand. He also said don't fool around with his carrier pigeon, but I think I sent it to Carthage. The general said please don't pick him up anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.

There was stale bread for dinner and I hate stale bread.

There was flogging on the field and I hate flogging.

My bath was too cold, I got blood in my eyes, my sword fell in the river, and I had to wear my bronze-age armor. I hate my bronze-age armor.

When I went to battle Demetrius took back the flail he said I could keep and the Spartan Warrior (tm) wooden shield snapped apart and I stubbed my toe.

The horse wants to sleep with Aristotle, not with me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

The general says some days are like that.

Even in Carthage.


By William Aoki, Chris Condrat, and Ryan Merril-Johnson.

Nov. 3rd, 2009

  • 9:36 AM
Magda
so I have spent most of the day trying to wrap my head around what happened last night.

I would think a logical person would want to make this go away with as little dust up as possible. considering we were willing to let it go at just a statement at the pop meeting I think we were more then fair. to be blown off like that and to break your word I just can't figure it out. to say something would be better then nothing.

I can't deal with this right now I'm crushed- to think so little of us to break your word I mean really....

I just can't

NaNoWriMo

  • Nov. 3rd, 2009 at 12:14 AM
Magda
anger is good for my writing fu  my word count jumped by almost 2000 words in a fit of anger currently I stand at 5683. part of me still thinks I should write my Diary of a Mad Deaf Woman instead of the historical fiction I am on but maybe I can save that for next year.

Tags:

Nov. 2nd, 2009

  • 11:15 PM
Magda
I promised I would post tonight but my heart really isn't in it. I had hoped for some closure- it didn't happen. we asked for three things- we got a promise that one would happen. We were willing to let it go at that. She choose the venue and said she would make a statement to clear the air and explain that our use of sign was ok and not malicious. It was going to be brief and to the point- there was not going to be a public apology. We decided it would work. I dreaded tonights meeting with every fiber of my being- I had panic attacks and even felt sick at the meeting and then---- nothing. It broke my heart we gave her an easy out and she gave us her word and then she broke it.

more tomorrow I can't write I want to cry

panic attack

  • Nov. 2nd, 2009 at 5:23 PM
Magda
had a small panic attack on the drive home from work- I just feel like I am walking into a beat down. trying to breathe and not lose it. will update later